i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
