U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize