you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
