so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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