To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
