god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
