Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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