if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
