I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
