Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
