He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
