Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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