People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
