The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
