I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
