well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
