it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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