The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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