She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
