I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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