No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
