You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
