I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
