You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
