Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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