on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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