Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Randomize
