Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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