Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
