i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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