I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
