sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Randomize
