My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
