We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
