watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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