we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize