good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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