How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
there was a trapeze. enough said
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
