youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
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