ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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