3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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