Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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