Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
