I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Dicks are not precious.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
