it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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