Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
