Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
