Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
im having a threesome with these popsicles
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
