Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
