I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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